Oh behave! How to be the best car passenger ever

Much has been written about proper driving behavior. 

However, we felt that too few guides have been written about how to be an ideal occupant that is not doing the driving. That said, we decided to put out a to-do and do-not list of proper passenger etiquette, which we hope can guide you on your next ride.

Talk to the driver constantly

Whether you’re in the shotgun (front passenger) seat or at the back, part of being a good passenger is keeping the driver alert. Granted, there are safety systems that remind the driver loudly to stay awake, but those go off only when the vehicle has gone off its original traveled lane.  

Do keep in mind, however, that certain topics needing the gift of gab should be off-limits. Who is the better Darna between Jane de Leon, Isa Calzado, Marian Rivera or Sharon Cuneta is still a topic worth discussing between passengers and drivers.

Even the merits and demerits between Philippine collegiate men’s basketball and the local pro league is a worthwhile subject for chitchat and verbal presentation of facts. On the flip side,  religion definitely should be struck off the list of topics to chat about unless the driver shares the same sentiments regarding a certain religion or philosophy.

Politics, on the other hand, has high risk-high reward potential. The caveat about this approach is that if the driver and you are on opposing ends of the Philippine political spectrum. No amount of presented verbal evidence from you could convince the one behind the wheel to consider your side; the defeated driver will likely turn on the radio and crank up the volume knob or ask you menacingly to get out of the cab or TNVS (transport network vehicle service) unit. On the flip side, appealing to a driver’s emotions and state of mind with regard to politics and the law does help based on our observations.

Bonus Tip: Guage the atmosphere inside the vehicle to find out if the driver is in a talking mood.

Avoid sleeping through the drive

As an offshoot of the tip above, when riding with a family member, friend, or significant other (SO) you should avoid dozing off. A driver will appreciate good conversation, and it will help him or her stay awake and alert during the drive. By leaving the driver alone as you ride into la la land, you also risk him succumbing to fatigue. 

Some drivers find it cute that a passenger feels so relaxed with the drive that they fall asleep. Ask the driver if he or she is one of them first. 

Don't be a backseat driver

A “by-law” to the tip above is that you never criticize the driver’s driving or be a proverbial backseat driver. This rule can also be broken, however, if you deem that the driver’s behavior is a clear and present danger to any occupant – such as frequent hard stomps on the brakes, frequent swerving, refusal to be fully stationary while passengers alight from the vehicle (applicable especially to public utility vehicle/PUV drivers), and drifting.

Frankly, this poster has been a backseat driver to a number of PUV operators during commutes due to their reckless approach to the steering wheel. Fortunately, more often than not, many joined his initial backseat driver chorus during said commutes, which resulted in the driver generally being behaved after the callout.

All told, the overall unspoken edict to follow when it comes to having conversations in the car is to read the mood of the cabin.

The driver and front passenger have dibs on the controls

This unwritten rule means that only those in front get to fiddle with an auto’s A/C (air conditioning) and infotainment controls.

This rule, however, can be disregarded if those in the rear rows ask for inputs regarding what’s coming out of the A/C and/or the ICI. Or if the rearbound passengers are elderly folk related to the driver and deem that what’s coming out of the A/C and/or the ICI isn’t suitable for their tastes. Or, if the rear-placed passengers are carrying a baby, preschooler or toddler, and the adults can see that the kid is really uncomfortable with a lack of A/C cooling AND is listening to what the adults deem as vulgar audio.

This rule also extends to the willingness of the front occupants to smoke or vape. As mentioned above, however, the rule can be broken if the rear passengers have pre-existing conditions and complain about the secondhand smoke wafting towards the rear cabin area.

Bonus Tip: The driver has the right to play his preferred music during his stint behind the wheel. You should wait for your turn to drive before playing your preferred tunes.

Don't put your feet up on the dashboard

A third “bylaw” under the unwritten rule above is that only the front passenger gets to put his or her feet on the dashboard, but only if the said shotgun “resident” is related in full consanguinity (i.e., husband, wife, fiancée, boyfriend, girlfriend) to the driver – and the driver gave his full consent to the fellow front occupant to do so.

Yeah, that action is gross, but it’s the driver’s call. 

As an SOP, don't put your feet up on the dashboard. Just don't.

About food and drink, CLAYGO

Always ask the driver or vehicle owner first if he allows eating inside the car. It's the least you could do as a passenger.

If permission is given, it is always best to practice the acronym CLAYGO (clean as you go). 

This means you can bring food and drink inside someone else’s car. But it is your responsibility to clean up the area where you are seated while eating/drinking, especially after consuming your nourishment requirements. This means having a bevy of tissues and paper towels, some alcohol or alcogel and wet wipes on your person to wipe away any food-related solid or liquid that fell on the cabin floor, in the door storage bins, the cupholders, the door handles, the seat wrapping, or even on your clothes. 

There's no bigger turn-off than being a slob while eating in someone else's car and letting bits and pieces fall on the seats, the floor, or worse, into those crevices between seats and panels.

Also, if you get food bits (oil, salt, pepper, and condiments included) on your fingers, DO NOT wipe them on the seats, the seat backrests, or the interior floor.

Last, use the containers where your food came in as trash receptacles. Throw your trash in proper refuse bins; don’t throw your garbage on the road or leave your waste in the car where you’re riding.

Bonus Tip: If you're stepping out of the car ahead of the driver, offer to take out all the rubbish accumulated during your ride. 

Seating etiquette

If a friend, relative, co-worker, or associate is driving alone, do not sit at the back. Don't make the driver appear like he or she is operating a taxicab, a TNVS, or a PUV.

If a friend, relative, co-worker, or associate is driving alone, and you are with your significant other (SO), you should ride shotgun and let your SO sit in the back. 

If a couple picks you up with your SO, you and your SO should be at the back. Couples always stay together at the front.

Sit at the back if a friend, relative, co-worker, or associate is driving with someone riding shotgun.  

If you and your SO are in the rear cabin, do not use the confines as an opportunity to get frisky.

Adults and more senior members of the family or group always stay in front. Kids and junior group/family members remain in the back. That said, always offer the shotgun seat to more senior/higher-ranked group members, even if the driver insists you ride shotgun.

When two men and two of their female work colleagues or associates travel together, the men sit in front, and the women sit in the back. After all, behind every successful man is a woman. 

Seatbelts are mandatory, even for rearbound passengers.

Do not spread your legs if you’re a male seated in the back (whether in a PUV, TNVS, or a personal ride). This habit, known as manspreading, prevents others from getting comfortable seating.

Operational essentials

When you come into a car, please don't slam the door. Close the door with just enough strength to keep it shut and flush with the body panel. 

Hands off the glass. Nobody wants to see palm or finger smudges on the windshields or side glass. 

Don’t open the glovebox or center console unless the driver asks you to do so. 

If you’re approaching a tollgate, observe if the driver has money to pay the toll. If not, ask the driver where to get cash to pay the toll. Insist that you hold on to the money until your vehicle is right beside the tollbooth teller so that the driver can concentrate on maneuvering the vehicle properly into the toll lane.

Bonus Tip: Offer to pay for the toll and at least part of the fuel costs whenever you hitch a ride as a passenger. You already got a free ride, be considerate enough to share the expenses. 

The most important rule

Drivers are presumed to be the owner and chief operators of the automobile. Since it’s their car, it’s their rules when it comes to what passengers can and cannot do.